The great UNequalizer

That is what illness is after all. And it's something I am really coming to hate that somehow if you say that to anyone the knee jerk reaction is to minimize. Somewhere in a crowd of responses there inevitably be a butlookatallyoycando - okay but - lookatallicannotdo. And while I am all for celebrating achievements and sharing strategies there will always be the reflection in the mirror that wants more.

I'm just used to not getting anything back. My childbearing days are over even though I am thirty two, managed to get pregnant multiple times without fertility issues, and of course the fact that I want another baby. Or at the very least I want the option to have a third baby. 

I am coping and struggling with adjusting to not being able to work. Because even though my arms will recover - maybe less than a nondisabled person - I cannot imagine being more active. Ie going back to work. There are times when going to the bathroom, my bathroom, is a challenge. Both the transferring (see post on fears of arm spasms) and the putting clothes back on in a presentable manner. You know, well enough to look presentable and professional?  At least at home there is more flexibility and I can take my time. 

And then of course with working comes working with my hands and they are weaker now. And any job will require me to do that on someone else's clock.